Have you ever tried rafting ?
If you havent tried it yet, let me explain what to expect. Rafting mostly done in river, so first youll go to the higher ground for the headwaters. Youll be rafting in a team even if you go alone . If its a canoe, then its gonna be just the two of you. A bit of briefing, safety gears on and off you go down the river in.
So whats so exciting about it ?
The thrill of not knowing what will come up at the next corner. Jumping up and down the boat while getting splashed on your face with occasional woohoo scream. Its a fun and adrenaline-pumping experience while still relatively safe. After few hours, stream are getting calmer and you reach the bottom of the river. Excitement is done and depends on whether the experience scare the living shit out of you or its an adrenaline soaked fun past time activities, you want to try again.
But heres the thing, if you want to try rafting again most probably you wont go for the same place again. Theres no surprise, no new things hence the thrills are done while the thrills is what you ask for.
Now lets set that aside for a while and compare it to going on a ship.
As you may learn from Pirates of Caribbean, Master & Commander or even One Piece, a voyage is not a just hobby its a way of life. You and bunch of other crews will go on a boat for a indefinite amount of time, going to unknown territory on a hostile sea. There will be days of unfathomable boredom above the endless ocean. Youll be stuck with the same bunch of people for years and since danger will appear in every corner, youll need to keep learning and adapting to survive.
Conflicts are naturals and guess what, you just cant quit and try going in another boat, ocean or crew instantly. Its a constant adaptation, feedback, acceptance and sacrificing for a greater communal goods.
Its not fun and cheap thrill is not the reason you go in a voyage. It should be bigger than just satisfying some need. It should be bigger than you. Its the promise of a better life or a holy mission just like old imperialism mantra : Gold, Gospel & Glory.
So whats the point im writing all of this ?
so heres the thing : My series of previous relationships can be described as a series of fireworks burst. Started with a sparks, goes up fast , huge explosion and goes down the drain. Couples of short adrenaline induced journey. Taking cue from pretty-face-fueled-rom-coms and love songs, i set certain expectation of a relationship which is all butterfly and poetic.
But just like going in a river rafting, after all thrills all over youll be bored . As time went by, youve known the surprising corners and well, since youve known the corners already theres no thrill and guess what, since youve in for a thrill and youre not getting it anymore, why bother ?
Some existentialism shit right there,
Until one sunny day, Sari comes to my life. What started as incidental encounter in this awesome initative that you need to clink this link eventhough youre just skimming this bloody long article, turns out to be 2 years strong and going romantic journey which is the longest ive been.
From Sari i learned that relationship its a two way thing. You dont come to a relationship, have an expectations and demand something like in a bar. Youre dealing with a human being with needs, hopes and feeling. You need to work and pour your effort into it.
wait, this supposed to be fun right being in a GF/BF status, like put some cheesy couple pictures in social network ? why sweat things and work ?
It looks pointless…. if you treat relationship as medium to get “fun” only. What if you had goals in life , an enormous goal which probably gonna take big chunk of your life and its impossible to do it alone. Goals such as “making a family”, ” making the world a better place” or whatever you want to achieve in life. An objective which you know you cant it do it by yourself.
Now in front of you, there another human who cares about you, willing to listen to your ramblings and more importantly has her own goal but still want to spend time with you even though she can spend those time chasing her own interest with ANY other 7 billions homo sapiens other than you. She is willing to be your partner, in my case her name is Putri Lenggo Sari
In this kind of relationship, you have to work because now you have destination, purpose, an objective. Having a relationship is not the goal now but its a vessel, you have a crew and now you start sailing to your destination, wherever you two decided it will be.
its been a long and inconsistent rant so far, whats your point Ki ?
I write what i want to write man, screw you. This writing is not for you anyway. This writing is for my 2 years plus partners in ups and downs, Sari. Thank you for staying with me in this ship. I know i started this as a thrill seeking rafting but you know, i realized its such a fool of me if im not taking you in a lifetime voyage.
Ocean ahead of us wont be calm and breeze-fully soothing i know,
There will be ups and downs, disagreement, Krakens, Maelstorms, Chtulus, Flesh-hungry Vikings and Nazguls.
But as weve learned so far, as long as we believe and talk to each other everything will turned out to be alright.
Happy anniversary my dear.
To quote the greatest pirate ever Captain Jack Sparrow :
Lets bring ourselves, the Horizon!